Broken People

For the last few months, Caleb and I have been reading a book called Love & War by John and Stasi Eldredge, the authors of Wild at Heart and Captivating.  This book tackles issues that most, if not all marriages deal with, in a very open and real way.  There have been several times while Caleb and I have been reading that we have both stopped and said, “It’s not just us? Good!” It is nice to know that we are not alone and that all marriages weather storms from time to time.  I am so thankful that Caleb and I both have God to turn to as the ultimate story writer of our lives.  I recommend this book whole-heartedly for couples to read together to deepen their understanding of each other.  I am a firm believer that marriages thrive when they are nurtured.


This morning we were reading and the chapter was in regards to various storms of life, be it spiritual warfare, seasons of life, brokenness, or the world. The part of the chapter that really stood out to me was not completely about marriage, but about humanity as a whole.

The authors write, “You can’t demand the broken to live as if they were whole.  Discipline is not the issue; apply discipline and you’ll make it worse. What is needed is healing.”  Just let that sink in.  It is amazing to me how many times I have heard preached, that if things are going wrong in your life or you are experiencing troubles, there must be some sin that is causing these problems.  If you go back to the story of Job, you will find that his friends said the exact same thing.  They told him again and again that there must be some sin he was committing that was causing God to inflict the misery that Job was experiencing.  Unbeknownst to Job’s “good intentioned” friends, Job was righteous and God was simply allowing trials into Job’s life to test and strengthen him.

As humans, we tend to want to categorize everyone, but there is not one box to put everyone in.  We cannot say that if someone is experiencing pain or trials that they just need to go to church and read their Bible more.  While seeking God is always the first step, sometimes there is healing that must be done as well.  Just because God has come to live in our hearts does not mean that we are no longer very human.  We live on an earth filled with broken people and pain and there is no escaping it.

One of the worst things for us to do as Christians is slap a band-aid of righteousness on a wounded person and expect the person’s heart to heal.  Prayer is needed. Wise counsel is needed. Tears are needed.  No one needs to feel guilty that they are struggling, we all struggle!

My point is, remember, “You can’t demand the broken to live as if they were whole.”  No one is perfect.  Jesus came so that we might have life! My prayer is that I daily realize the depth of God’s unconditional love and comprehend it enough to share that same love with others.